#1 What we fear most is being our True Selves
...because deep down it doesn't feel safe.
Hello Lovely You,
Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash
When my son and brother died eight months apart in road crashes, it was the most devastating and the most liberating time in my life.
Liberating because I didn’t have to be anything other than a grieving mother. There were no other expectations on me from others or myself for a few brief weeks. I loved that feeling! Letting my emotions flow and be expressed without editing myself.
But old patterns and habits soon returned and I found myself pushing through, shutting down (all) emotions and numbing out, in order to function. I wasn’t able to honour the deep shock and grief I was feeling which meant it got stuck in my body for many years.
Eventually my body literally said ‘no’ to going back to a life of striving, and false purpose and stopped me in my tracks with continuing chronic health issues (symptoms of IBS, fatigue) and pain.
The combination of unresolved traumas and not being fully myself have resulted in me having to take a closer look at my inner core and choose to change and rediscover what it means to be my True Self.
I didn’t know back then what I now know. As I continue this journey of Self Recovery I intend to share the knowledge, experiences and skills I have gathered to make it easier for you to navigate your own journey towards your True Self.
I want to write and I need an outlet for it. So here I am!
Rediscovering & Embodying my True Self
is an experiment
in Living a Fully Expressed Life.
Nurturing my Nature.
Nourishing my Flourishing.
And Restoring a life of Freedom, Fun & Flow.
So why am I sharing this now?
A couple of years ago I gave up my 20 year career as a Life Coach. I had to finally admit I don’t have the energy to help others in that way right now. I didn’t know then if it would be permanent but the longer I pause the more permanent it feels.
Years of giving and caring and not caring enough for myself (even though that’s what I taught and encouraged others to do) had worn me down. I was burnt out. I had been for years but hid it behind my smile and kept my outer shell intact so I would not worry people and so I would appear as if I were sorted and in control. An old habit learned during childhood.
That way of being is not sustainable for me. It has never been sustainable!
That way of being is NOT my True Self.
My True Self wants less.
My True Self needs deep rest, solitude and play and creativity.
My True Self needs to be nurtured and nourished and cared for.
She needs all her needs to be recognised and encouraged.
My True Self needs to be fed and not just by food!
Above all she needs to feel safe to be herself whatever is going on in the world.
And she needs her needs to be met by me!
I am the only one who can do this for her.
What I want for you if you want it too
I would love for you to gain some clarity and awareness of yourself and your life so that you experience some realisations and shifts too. I know I am not the only one, and that other women (and men) like you also wonder what it would be like to be your True Self rather than the person you thought you had to be. Or the person you were told or encouraged to be. The person you became because it felt safer. Rather than the person you are at your core. The person that would thrive no matter what life threw at her.
What would it feel like to be fully You!?
To feel alive, engaged and whole?
To know that you were expressing your real self in the world?
What would it be like to nurture and nourish your true nature?
What would it be like to have more fun?
To feel your life was in flow?
To feel free?
Finding my True Self
My journey back to my True Self began a few years ago. This is a space for me to share the rawness, stuckness, frustration and resistance, joy and freedom I experience while following my path to my True Self.
I love to express myself through words. I love to write but I mostly haven’t shared my writing as it’s felt too scary. I have been setting up this substack account for months. Too scared to publish this post. Edited it many times. I am hoping this is the last push and I will find the courage this time. Why? Because I need to create some flow in my life and my writing lies stagnant around me. Collecting dust. Clogging up my shelves, my tablet my laptop and my mind. It’s time to be brave and let it go…
Being a Writer is part of my True Self. I am honouring that here.
I will tell you what works for me and what doesn’t.
I will tell you about my experiences of Grief and how it changed me. I’ll share my thoughts on Death and Dying and the connections I see between Mental and Physical Health and living an Authentic Life.
I will also talk about the importance of feeling and expressing your emotions safely, how all emotions are valid and need to be honoured. I’ll point you in the direction of Resources that may help you as they have me and Tips on getting clearer about who you truly are so you can start to feel more Freedom, Flow and Fun in your life too!
I don’t really know where this adventure is going to take me/us. What the future has in store. But I will keep writing and allow it to evolve into what it needs to be for us to have deep conversations.
Honestly expressing my experiences (Eek!); the ups, the downs, the crazies, successes, failures, risks and rewards we can all find our True Selves Together.
Talents, Skills and Experience
I am a Wife, Mum, Step-mum. Art, colour, nature, cat and people lover. A Playful, Curious Chameleon. A Carer to my Core. A Quiet, Gentle, Sensitive Introvert. I have a gift for making the complicated simple, organising and systemising home environments and a common-sense approach to life.
I am an ordinary woman who has been through some extroadinary experiences.
I am a mother who lost a child and brother suddenly and in quick succession.
I was a Life Coach for nearly twenty years and before that I was a nurse.
And now… A Writer and budding Artist (aka Playing). Ha ha….
I am committed to spend the rest of my life playing and rediscovering and embodying my True Self!
Want to join me?
From my True Self to Yours
P.S. I want to get to know YOU and for us to build this COMMUNITY together.
Sharing our thoughts, ideas and struggles on what it means to be our True Selves; what stops us and what needs to happen for us to Nurture and Nourish our Flourishing. To Thrive rather than just Survive.
What is your greatest obstacle or your biggest fear about being your True Self?