#7 What is spirituality?
Is it important? Is it relevant? How can it be more practical?
Many years ago, I attended a silent Vipassiona Meditation Retreat. The meditation being taught was one of the most simple there is. The first three or four days, all we did was observe our breath without trying to change it. Then we moved into observing the sensations around every inch of our bodies. The task was to observe without reacting. To sit, most of us cross legged on the floor, for 10 - 11 hours a day meditating.
I started off enthusiastically. It felt like a relief not to have to interact with people.
Photo by Надя Кисільова on Unsplash
In between the meditation sessions when we were eating, resting or gently exercising, we were told not to talk or even have eye contact with each other. I did as I was told. I ignored the burning pains that moved around my body from my hip, to my knee, to my ankle and then into my back. I ignored the thoughts that came and went, until through days 4, 5 and 6 I began to think we were being brainwashed. At this point I seriously considered leaving. I thought I was going mad!
Day 7 was when I had my moment. Naive as I was about spiritual experiences, I had gone to bed and continued my meditation practise of observing the sensation around my body. Suddenly I felt the sensation of a snake wriggle up from my perineum, up through my belly, chest, throat and head. I had no idea what was happening but for some reason I didn't feel afraid. (It wasn't until some weeks later I discovered that I had had a kundalini experience). I slept well and I woke the next day feeling vibrant and more fully alive than I had ever been without alcohol. I couldn't wait to sit and meditate again.
Going home from the centre I discovered a simpler, easier world. Nothing had changed except my perception of it. And my mind was a lot quieter with a lot less thoughts and a lot less need to talk. I was committed to continuing my practise of meditation for the recommended minimum of two hours a day, even though I had children at home.
But within three months my resolve had faltered, my daily practise became shorter and shorter until it became non-existent. The reality of living life outside of a meditation centre was much harder than I thought it would be. And I admit I was disappointed that the benefits didn’t last longer. Not very spiritual thoughts.
In the personal development world doing something spiritual seems to be the thing to do. The add on to all the hard work of analysing yourself. And if you don’t… well you’re probably not developed enough. (Translate as - not good enough).
But the meaning of spirituality has changed for me so much since then. And, as amazing as it was, I do not have the will to sit for 10 or 11 hours a day for seven or more days, in order to achieve that kundalini experience again. I have still meditated on and off over the years and I find it a useful tool to bring me back to my centre at times.
However, I am the sort of person who can be present whilst also making plans for the future. I actually enjoy planning things ahead. And it gives me an element of safety knowing that I have these inner resources that help me to cope with the demands of everyday life, as well as life's unexpected curveballs.
True Spirituality is not about bypassing our human needs. In fact, that is unhealthy and can be dangerous. No, spirituality feels like flow. It's about the blend of human needs, faith, expansion, acceptance, awareness and learning not to be attached to any of it. Pleasure in small things. Connection with self and others. It's about nature and our own nature. Our inner knowing, intuition and following our impulses. Finding our own flow and creativity. Engaging in life. Embracing change and tough times. Knowing they will pass just as good times pass. Not trying to hold on to any of it. But allowing ourselves to feel it and express it safely. Let it flow through us, over and over again.
It sounds simple but it is not easy.
Why?
If we know this stuff why can't we embody it?
Just let it happen?
Because it doesn't feel safe.
I can see people’s spirits when they talk. I saw it in my friend a few weeks ago when she was describing the children's reaction to her leaving the school she had been working at. Her delight that they felt something nourishing about her presence, though she wanted to discount it in a way behind a modest facade. Feeling uncomfortable about her own presence that created such an enhancing environment for those children. Afraid that she was looking like she was showing off, when all I could see was the sheer delight in her and the images of theose children in my mind.
But when we can accept our natural gifts, enjoy the beautiful people that we are, it opens up doors and opportunities and makes life so much easier.
I hear spirit in my husband’s voice when he explains a breakthrough he's had in his work as a cranial osteopath. The delight at having discovered something or a better way of doing something. The pleasure he still gains from a forty year career.
I feel it in a child's laughter. The screams of pleasure of children running around a playground. A baby's chuckle.
I feel it in myself when I am on course. Following my own impulses, my own intuition. Playing with paint or smelling the woodlands I walk in.
Spirituality is not for the few who have the privilege of taking days and weeks out of their lives.
Spirituality is simple and practical.
It's a way of being in the world which both flatters us and inspires us.
It is full of curiosity and playfulness. Of experiments and explorations and adventures.
It is full of the whole spectrum of human emotions.
It is what it feels like to be free.
It is our birthright.
Not something to be ashamed of.
Not something that only a few can achieve.
Not something that you have to go away from real life to achieve.
It is your every day presence. Your conscience. Your Truth.
Spirituality is our True Essence.
And it probably looks more like this!
What is spirituality to you?
Is it important? Does it matter?
What does it feel like?