Softening Into Your Strength #32
Softening Into Your Strength #32
A writing practice for you to try
You are receiving this letter as you have subscribed to Honouring Your True Self with me Karen Robinson. Love letters for people who are worn out from caring too much.
It is my intention, every week, to share with you stories, tips and hints so you can become more of your True Self. I am experimenting with different ways of doing this and if you have any feedback for me about what works or what doesn’t, feel free to comment below or hit reply to this email.
Dear Lovely You,
I have been going through my journals from the beginning of the year as I declutter. I love a decluttering session. I haven’t journalled consistently for years but I was inspired by Julia Cameron’s book, The Right to Write which I discovered in our local library and found myself being drawn back to this practice.
It's been a tough year with my husband being ill, my mother-in-law dying and all the other pulls on me with three adult children living at home. But as I read through what I had written (much of it monotonous jibber jabber) I could see the progress I had made as I processed my thoughts and emotions about everything that was going on. I realised what a powerful practice it is.
During the summer I found myself feeling desperate for a cure to my chronic health issues. Again! But this is an old pattern of pushing and trying to force things. I had about five things lined up that I was thinking of trying but this time something made me hold back. Or rather I didn’t get the signal that I have noticed I get when I need to sit up and take notice.
Intuition
Call it intuition if you like but it’s been a hard one to capture because, like most people, I have been conditioned out of trusting myself. You see I get tingles usually on my legs but sometimes whole body tingles and it’s like the Universe is speaking to me. I have only noticed it consistently in the last three years on and off though I am sure it’s happened many times before. So I was waiting for tingles to show me which direction to go in and I didn’t get tingles. I don’t get them much and I am impatient for them too.
I have spent huge amounts of money, time and energy searching for the solution to my health issues and some have made some difference, many have made no difference at all. Some worked for a while then stopped but nothing has shifted the main issue that I cannot digest. Fortunately I know how to manage it pretty well.
A big part of the problem is my impatience at not finding the one thing that’s going to make everything better. You may think I have a point if I tell you I have been struggling for about eighteen years with pain, discomfort and lack of energy.
Letter Writing for Healing
Around July I found myself spontaneously writing letters, amongst my journaling, to my inner self. This included my mind, heart and gut to start with. Then I got more specific, honing in on the organs that are struggling.
So, I didn’t go and try out any other therapies or magic wand treatments. But I did keep writing and through reviewing my journals I could see the insights and valuable information I was getting.
How I write letters to myself
Want to give it a try?
Here's what I did.
If you have aches and pains or other symptoms write to that. Or perhaps you have a specific body part that needs a little more attention. The body holds information. It can be a really useful guide and help us to be more in balance and attuned to our true nature.
Start like this:
Dear Leg, Heart, Back, Tummy, Head, or Pain/Discomfort etc [ add your own here]
And then let yourself free write without thinking about it and just see what comes.
To free write is simply to allow yourself to keep writing without stopping to edit. (Note: I edited the sample below to make it easier for you to read but you don’t need to do that because it’s just for you). Don’t be concerned with spelling, punctuation or it having to make sense. Just write.
If it helps, set a timer or the intention to write for several pages.
Here’s mine where I speak to my Duodenum.
Just for context: the duodenum is the very first part of the small intestine where a lot of digestion takes place and unfortunately I had to have my stomach pumped just before I turned two because I ate a bottle of junior aspirin which caused some unresolved trauma. It’s okay, I survived.
Dear Duodenum,
I know you're scared and haven't yet been able to digest all that has passed.
It must have been so frightening for you and yet look, we're here all cosy and safe. Can you soften a little sweet pea?
They did some things that seemed terrible to you/us. I know it's hard. Hard to let go. Hard to trust. Remember how resilient you are, how far you've come. How much you've gained. The longing for more is just you needing recognition. You don't need it. You are loved. You are love. Breathe easy now. Deep sighs. Long out breaths. Ahh... You can relax.
We can relax. Whatever will be will be. Working it around your energy levels which is what would have worked much better anyway.
I know you've tried so hard. Pushed so hard. It's okay to try. Now trying in a new direction and make the trying a game. Be curious my love.
Try this. Try that. What feels good, do that.
Let go of what doesn't.
Feel the nourishment of what 's good. You tighten.
You don't believe me.
That's okay.
I am still here. I am always here.
What do you need from me? How can I help?
Let me know.
Kx
Dear Karen,
I am so tight I don't know any other way. I know I send signals that make you clamp up. I am carrying a lot here. You are right there's a lot of emotions in here.
I have been cradling them for a long time. They are all jumbled up but tight. Like knots. I've had to hold tight. They can't be released all at once. That would be a complete mess.
It's going to take time and I know you're impatient. Impatient to get well. But trust needs to be built a little more.
I can't digest the injustices. I am still holding on to the hurt. But it is getting easier. You recognising that you actually had a good childhood where some unpleasant things occurred at times is more balanced. The 'therapy' you've had has made you more of a victim in some ways. And searching. Searching for the answers. You know the answers.
What is within your control?
Be okay with yourself. Trust yourself. Let off steam. Keep going. You are completely on track.
And do it in a way that is sustainable for you.
Be gentle with yourself. Pause often.
Yes, limit the number of hours you 'work' even if you love it.
Remember to love your friends too.
Breathe in fresh air. You can help me by being aware now.
Regularly check in but don't push or be impatient. Just observe and little by little we will release the junk down here.
That will be more Comfortable AND more Sustainable.
Give me space. Give me time. And stop piling more and more things on me.
Keep dropping the kidney adrenals too. Soften. Stop pushing.
Stop pushing. Stop pushing. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Be patient with me.
Dx
Dear D,
thank you. I know all this and I am getting better at it.
But I still wonder what needs to happen for you to reset and get back to the job of digesting rather than holding all these yuck emotions?
Thanks
Love Kx
Dear K,
what needs to happen? Be gentle. Be kind. Be patient with yourself.
Stop pushing.
You are pushing right now asking the same question in a different way. There is no magic wand and yet magic can happen. There is no magic cure and yet something may shift things.
You know. You know.
Now trust and be patient. Stop pushing. What's in the way is the way.
If pushing is in the way, what is the way?
Push for gentleness. Push for kindness. Push for patience. Push for compassion. Push for the right things.
Be curious about how you can push for these instead of healing success, more enlightenment, more knowledge, more skills and even more awareness.
You know enough. You have enough awareness.
You know yourself very well.
You know!
Now trust.
Step back.
Observe.
Trust.
Trust that what you know about self-compassion is enough.
Not just for everyone else but for you too.
You You You.
Practice what you preach.
Soften into your own Strength
Trust it. You know.
Love
Dx
Soften Into Your Strength
I was shown through writing this how I was still pushing even though I didn’t mean to push and how I need to still bring even more compassion and patience to myself. What really stands out is ‘soften into your strength.’ Showing me that relaxing and being more accepting of myself is still being strong, which is an important message for me as my determination, which is really useful at times, can also be a double edged sword that does the opposite to my intended outcome. My perception tells me it’s my determination that’s got me this far and I can use that determination to soften too.
This is an invitation for you to look inside and get more congruent and aligned answers.
We don’t necessarily get the answers we want but we always get the answers we need.
Give it a go and let me know how you get on in the comments.
With Love
From my True Self to Yours
Karen xx
PS. Let me know in the comments how you get on with writing letters to your body and pain.
PS. Go to the welcome page below to find more resources and all the letters you’ve missed and feel free to invite your friends.
