I realised when I finished reading that I was holding my breath, realised because you describe the tension in your stomach during the awful, traumatic events that you have faced.
Then I remembered to breathe. I then thought about the chronic, isolating insomnia I had during my first pregnancy, triggered by the appalling attack on the Twin Towers ( I discovered years later ) I subconsciously needed to stay awake until my baby was safely born. Other instances come to mind
where I’ve felt panicked by not being able to breath and not realised why and how that was a response to fear, but also anger and outrage.
Thank you for that enlightenment Karen and your honesty and commitment ❤️
thanks so much for your honest and heartfelt reply. I am sorry you went through that in your pregnancy. But happy you noticed, noticed, noticed you were holding your breath whilst reading. That's the first step really. Noticing what we are already habitually doing. ;)
The fear bit is often easier to identify but we are conditioned much more to deny anger and outrage which are fierce life energies that also need to be safely expressed. I hope you are finding ways to do that... <3
The first part about the writing, what to write, when etc reminds me of the tussle I’ve been in on here.
Knowing my lane. Staying in it. But forever looking sideways.
Falling into the comparison trap. Time and time again.
My latest post speaks to this, To Niche or Not to Niche?
The latter part of your post reminds me on the journaling I did on Friday under the prompt, I Am Angry.
I suspect it’ll make its way here at some point, like the last time I journaled my way through what was then suppressed anger. Title I am fucking angry. How the hell are you!?! (this time it was repressed anger and I’m not yet sure anyone’s ready for this piece 😆 it’s raw.).
Looking forward to what’s to come. It looks like you have some great ideas to bring.
Always good to remind ourselves we’ve got time. We can true our time. Find our own way. Our own rhythm. 💚
Enjoy the ride. Even if it does feel like we’re trundling along the motorway in a morris minor being overtaken by Ferrari’s 😂
I felt all of this to my bones. And I’m truly sorry you lost your son.
My youngest is about to go travelling - I am excited for him and also, it will feel like a big hole. I cannot imagine what you went through and this has helped me put my situation into perspective.
I want to create, write, paint but rarely do. When my middle son starts travelling too next year, there may be more space to embrace my creativity. I loved this piece, thank you.
Hi Tracey, what a lovely response! Thank you. My other older son, who saw his brother die, also went traveling a couple of years after. It was heart wrenching at first and he was only 20 but it was the making of him. He really got his head straightened out. He was never interested in formal education but found world education much more enjoyable and easier to digest. Our lives are changing dramatically at the moment. Moving house. Retirement for my husband. And the two boys (men) who came back will leaving for the last time. Filling my own life with juicy things will mean less of a hole. I have been creating this for a year now. Having a clear vision of what I want for my life and living from the energy of that vision as if it’s already happening because it is! Not waiting to paint, write, create but feeling into it and taking little actions on a regular basis. I would love to hear more about your creativity, art, writing and where it takes you. I want to build a community here. A community of people creating our best lives. A place where we can share and support. Play and have fun! :0)
Oh wow, that’s a lot of changes going on! It’s good to hear the travelling helped your older son through something that must have been so traumatic. I hope it will bring my sons what they’re looking for too.
It sounds like I’m in the right place. I have been saying to myself that I’ll start a substack of my own for about 6 years haha. I’m literally just dabbling with my creativity but also feel that September is a lovely time of year to embrace it more. 🍁🍂 we shall see what it brings x
For me, everything shifted with Committing. Not to doing art or writing but to fully accepting and embracing who I am and Committing to living from that place. Let me know when you get started with your Substack. 😍
Read this with great empathy.
I realised when I finished reading that I was holding my breath, realised because you describe the tension in your stomach during the awful, traumatic events that you have faced.
Then I remembered to breathe. I then thought about the chronic, isolating insomnia I had during my first pregnancy, triggered by the appalling attack on the Twin Towers ( I discovered years later ) I subconsciously needed to stay awake until my baby was safely born. Other instances come to mind
where I’ve felt panicked by not being able to breath and not realised why and how that was a response to fear, but also anger and outrage.
Thank you for that enlightenment Karen and your honesty and commitment ❤️
Hi Carmen,
thanks so much for your honest and heartfelt reply. I am sorry you went through that in your pregnancy. But happy you noticed, noticed, noticed you were holding your breath whilst reading. That's the first step really. Noticing what we are already habitually doing. ;)
The fear bit is often easier to identify but we are conditioned much more to deny anger and outrage which are fierce life energies that also need to be safely expressed. I hope you are finding ways to do that... <3
The first part about the writing, what to write, when etc reminds me of the tussle I’ve been in on here.
Knowing my lane. Staying in it. But forever looking sideways.
Falling into the comparison trap. Time and time again.
My latest post speaks to this, To Niche or Not to Niche?
The latter part of your post reminds me on the journaling I did on Friday under the prompt, I Am Angry.
I suspect it’ll make its way here at some point, like the last time I journaled my way through what was then suppressed anger. Title I am fucking angry. How the hell are you!?! (this time it was repressed anger and I’m not yet sure anyone’s ready for this piece 😆 it’s raw.).
Looking forward to what’s to come. It looks like you have some great ideas to bring.
Always good to remind ourselves we’ve got time. We can true our time. Find our own way. Our own rhythm. 💚
Enjoy the ride. Even if it does feel like we’re trundling along the motorway in a morris minor being overtaken by Ferrari’s 😂
Loving that title! 😆 It's so good to express ourselves honestly. And I am very happy to be trundling along with you in the Morris Minor 😂🥰
😂😍🌸
I felt all of this to my bones. And I’m truly sorry you lost your son.
My youngest is about to go travelling - I am excited for him and also, it will feel like a big hole. I cannot imagine what you went through and this has helped me put my situation into perspective.
I want to create, write, paint but rarely do. When my middle son starts travelling too next year, there may be more space to embrace my creativity. I loved this piece, thank you.
Hi Tracey, what a lovely response! Thank you. My other older son, who saw his brother die, also went traveling a couple of years after. It was heart wrenching at first and he was only 20 but it was the making of him. He really got his head straightened out. He was never interested in formal education but found world education much more enjoyable and easier to digest. Our lives are changing dramatically at the moment. Moving house. Retirement for my husband. And the two boys (men) who came back will leaving for the last time. Filling my own life with juicy things will mean less of a hole. I have been creating this for a year now. Having a clear vision of what I want for my life and living from the energy of that vision as if it’s already happening because it is! Not waiting to paint, write, create but feeling into it and taking little actions on a regular basis. I would love to hear more about your creativity, art, writing and where it takes you. I want to build a community here. A community of people creating our best lives. A place where we can share and support. Play and have fun! :0)
Oh wow, that’s a lot of changes going on! It’s good to hear the travelling helped your older son through something that must have been so traumatic. I hope it will bring my sons what they’re looking for too.
It sounds like I’m in the right place. I have been saying to myself that I’ll start a substack of my own for about 6 years haha. I’m literally just dabbling with my creativity but also feel that September is a lovely time of year to embrace it more. 🍁🍂 we shall see what it brings x
For me, everything shifted with Committing. Not to doing art or writing but to fully accepting and embracing who I am and Committing to living from that place. Let me know when you get started with your Substack. 😍