#12 Dear Steve
Steve was my best friend and losing him is the the most painful experience I have ever gone through in my life.
It has been my intention for some years to write a book as a series of letters to him of all the things I have wanted to talk to him about. All the things I want to ask. All the family experiences he’s missed. I think it will tell a story, a sort of memoir of our lives together, but also show people how to come through grief and live again.
From somewhere in the ether
Any time in space
Dear ))) Sis, (((
you have spent too long trying to work out where it all came from.
It’s time to let all that go and be in the now.
It's wired in. A habit. A habit that has protected you.
Your protection mechanism. Does it work?
What does it mean to be 'too big for your boots?'
Some people may get hurt by you being more expressive because their perception is you're showing off and that can be intimidating if they don't understand or aren't ready for it. It’s challenging for our loved ones when we change from the person they knew.
But if you suppress it, the ones who are ready and are needing, wanting, longing to learn from you don't get it because you are too afraid of hurting the ones who aren't ready.
You're trying to protect yourself from the people who might be upset by your clarity and insight. Trying to protect yourself from being hurt.
And in the process hurting yourself because you're suppressing parts of yourself that need to be expressed.
From the womb right up until this very day!
And all these other selves want and this self right inside you now, is to be fully expressed.
They (the parts of yourself you have tried to deny) and the you that is you now, want to be free!
You want to share your knowledge. They want you to stop punishing them (you).
They want you all to live an authentic life. To come out and play. To make mistakes and move on.
To stop taking life so seriously!
To listen to your son and brother who have gone before you. Who played the game of life for you with you and for themselves.
To stop judging yourself.
To become who you're meant to be.
Human. Fallible. Delighting in life.
Light and shade.
Honouring your emotions and feeling them.
Not holding back.
Accepting some people won't like you. They're not ready.They won't get it. That’s okay.
Expressing yourself through colour, shape, form as well as words.
Stop hiding us inside you, they’re saying.
Let us out. Let us be. Ha ha...
Stop worrying. Stop worrying about your children. They are adults. They have their own paths to follow now.
Stop worrying about what people think. It doesn't matter and their thoughts are based on their perception of their own experiences.
Only you know the truth about you!
You're doing your best based on your knowledge and conditioning and habits.
You have enough knowledge to change the habits and conditioning.
Stay aware but not alert.
Loosen up to stay in the flow.
Let love flow.
Take some risks.
Be kind To Yourself please.
Above all Laugh at yourself and your mistakes.
Take the learnings and walk with them…
You used your head, now trust your heart.
Heart is all you need to incorporate more into your life.
She’s waiting, that inner you. She’s been waiting a long time.
She still loves you.
That little one inside.
))) Stephen (((